🥋 Red Belt Karate Test Today

Today I’m testing for my final red belt stripe, the last step before black belt, after more than five years of training at CKJA (Christian Karate and Jiu Jitsu Academy). Assuming I pass, the next season begins: preparing for my black belt. But this milestone is about more than karate. It marks a season of growth as a husband, father, a believer, an elder, and a man learning (again) what it means to do hard things with purpose.

When my youngest son and I started this journey, he was just eight years old. At the time, I was coaching my older son’s baseball team, working full-time, and serving as an elder at our church. Baseball was my sport, and my oldest and I shared a great bond through it. But my youngest son didn’t have that same connection. When he decided to quit baseball, I didn’t say much, but inside I was disappointed. We encouraged him to try something else.

He chose karate.

At first, I thought it was just another activity, something for him to build confidence and discipline. But when we visited a few gyms and found the right one, I realized what was really going on. He didn’t quit because he disliked baseball, he quit because he wanted me. He had seen me invest time and energy into his brother, and he wanted to share that same connection. That realization broke me. It exposed something I didn’t even know I was missing as a dad.

So, we started karate together. And from the beginning, we made a deal: if we started, we’d finish, all the way to black belt (I knew full well that one never "finishes" in martial arts, but that was hard to explain to him). He was thrilled because he’d have my attention; I was convicted because I knew I’d have to lead him through something that demanded consistency, humility, and heart.

I’ve always been drawn to hard things, baseball, trumpet, programming, not because I was good at them, but because I had to work at them to become good, they stretched me. Somewhere along the way, though, I stopped chasing hard things. I poured myself into family, work, and ministry, but I lost that edge of growth that used to shape me. Looking back, I think God used karate to wake me up. He reminded me that leadership, especially as a father, isn’t about what we say, it’s about what we live, and how we live in faith.

Hurdle 1: Embarrassment

That first class was humbling. I was the only adult among a room full of kids, and most of them could already kick higher, move faster, and remember routines better than I could. I remember thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding me — I’m a white belt surrounded by pre-teens!”

It was funny at first, until I realized how much pride I still carried. I’ve always been confident, but karate stripped that away quickly. Galatians 1:10 — “Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?” — became a steady reminder. God used that embarrassment to expose my self-reliance.

Over time, God used the training mat as a classroom for humility. It wasn’t just about learning self-defense; it was about learning dependence. I started to see how much spiritual and emotional strength comes from submitting myself to something bigger, and trusting God to shape me through it.

Dependence is not weakness. Scripture calls us to grow more dependent on our Savior, more of Him, less of me. The Christian life is built around this pattern of dependence: through God’s Word, the Means of Grace, and the Body of Christ. Those are the ways God forms and strengthens us.

Interestingly, the culture at CKJA reflects that same truth. We train in community, side by side, pushing and encouraging each other. I depend on my training partners, especially the other dads, to show up, to challenge me, and to help me grow. And they depend on me in the same way. When one of us is struggling, the others pull him along. When someone’s energy fades, the rest help carry the load.

That’s the Body in motion, a picture of how God designed His people to grow together. Just as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17). Karate became a tangible reminder that strength isn’t found in isolation or pride but in shared perseverance and humble dependence, on God first, and on the brothers He’s placed beside me.

Hurdle 2: Capacity

The second hurdle was about capacity, learning to give my best when I already felt stretched thin. As a husband, father, employee, and elder, I’ve often told myself it’s okay not to give 100% in everything. But one day, my son asked, “Dad, do you like karate? You don’t look like you’re trying very hard.”

That stopped me cold.

I tried explaining all the responsibilities I carried, but my excuses sounded hollow, even to me. I realized I was teaching him something without meaning to, that it was okay to show up halfway. I realized that this was a mindset that had defined me for too long. That day, I decided to change that. If I wanted my boys to learn perseverance and wholeheartedness, I had to live it.

I started reevaluating my time and effort, not just in karate but in everything. I realized I wasn’t only shortchanging my family, I was shortchanging my heavenly Father. He deserves my whole heart, and so do the people He’s entrusted to me.

Hurdle 3: Injury

The last hurdle has been injury. Over the years I’ve faced tendonitis, bruised ribs, strained muscles, broken bones, and more than a few days when I wondered if I should keep going. Pain has a way of making you question your “why.”.

But here’s what I’ve learned: weakness is where God does His best refining work. Those sore joints and bruises became reminders that growth always costs something. Endurance isn’t built in comfort.

Every time I’ve been sidelined, I’ve had to fight the voice that says, “You’re too old for this. You’ve done enough.” But the truth is, I’m not chasing a belt anymore, I’m chasing faithfulness. I’m learning to press on, not out of pride, but because Christ endured for me. He didn’t quit when it hurt. And that’s the kind of strength I want my sons to see, not the strength of muscle or willpower, but the strength that comes from obedience and perseverance through weakness. He set the example so that I can be an example to others, especially my boys.

I can't do things I used to be able to do, "I'm not as young as I once was!", however, through consistent training, loosing some weight, and living a healthier life, I have been able to overcome the physical issues. This has also developed some new mental toughness that I did not know I needed.

Looking Back and Forward

As I test today, my son is preparing for his black belt next month. What began as his journey became ours, and more than that, it became a tool God used to shape us both. Karate has taught me discipline, humility, perseverance, and grace, lessons that have spilled over into my home, my work, and my church.

If you’re a father, especially of sons, I want to encourage you: do something hard with them. Let them see you fail. Let them see you try again. Let them see your faith tested and strengthened, and talk about it with them.

The world is giving our boys two false pictures of manhood. The first says that strength is power, even abusive power, and that domination is the way to get what you want. The second, through the cultural influence of modern feminism, tells them that strength itself is wrong, that it’s safer, even virtuous, to be passive and weak.

Both are lies.

The Bible, and the life of Jesus Himself, give us a very different vision. True strength is not found in aggression or in withdrawal, but in obedience, humility, and love that endures. Jesus was a strong man, yet His strength was shown in sacrifice, not control; in steadfastness, not avoidance.

Our boys need to see that kind of strength lived out. They need examples of men who work hard, repent quickly, and persevere faithfully, men who know that courage begins in surrender to God. Karate, for me, has become one of the ways to live that out. It’s a training ground for the kind of character Scripture calls us to, and a reminder that spiritual strength, like physical strength, must be developed through discipline and perseverance.

Yes, our daughters need these same tools, confidence, self-control, and the ability to defend themselves. But our sons, especially, need to see a redeemed model of manhood. They need to see that being strong isn’t about overpowering others, it’s about standing firm in faith, leading with humility, and loving with conviction in a world that’s forgotten what that looks like.

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
— Hebrews 12:11

Just like in karate, you never fully "arrive", and I realize that I am far from perfect! These lessons are things I need to remind myself with daily, and often God has to re-teach and reinforce. I do hard things! Why? Because Christ is the author and perfecter of my faith!

I encourage you, find this kind of community! And if you can't, and you live in Tulsa, find me on the mat, I'll train with you!

PS - It took me longer than I meant to refine this post. This past Saturday (October 11, 2025), my youngest passed his Black Belt Test. I am so proud of him, not because he's a black belt, but because of what he has become in the process.